Today I have the privilege of blogging to y’all from the comfort of my OBGYN’s office, fasted and already emptied of a few vials of blood with a few more to be shared in the coming hours.
Wow, Michelle! That sounds like a peachy keen way to spend your last day of Christmas vacation…and you’re sure right!
Sarcasm and pity party aside, I found out a few days before Christmas that I failed my initial blood glucose screening, meaning I may or may not have gestational diabetes (go ahead and laugh…the irony is quite strong here...I'm well aware).
As the nurse practitioner explained, my next set of testing that I would be embarking upon today (8:00 a.m.fasted blood test+glutcose drink+subsequent blood tests every hour for the next three hours), I tried to stay cool and collected on the phone, immediately breaking down into tears the second I hung up with her. Yeah, I had a little meltdown out of frustration, panic, and disappointment. How in God’s green Earth could I possibly have gestational diabetes?! Is this a sick joke?
Not only that, I HATE/LOATHE/DETEST getting my blood taken. Granted, no one liked it, but I normally pass out, therefore I’ve developed an anxiety because of it. It makes me nauseous and lightheaded just thinking about it. And to clarify, it’s not the blood; it’s the needle going into my vein and sucking the blood out that makes me want to simultaneously barf and lose consciousness.
After a short pity party, I started to research (thanks Google) and process the whole situation. And I came to one main conclusion: sometimes, actually all ths time, life ain’t always all about me. So suck it up, buttercup.
Thanks to the all powerful, all knowing intelligence of the interwebs, I’ve studied up a little on gestational diabetes just in case I do have this sucky, dumb, stinkin’ condition.
So it turns out that this form of diabetes this caused by my placenta’s hormones, not necessarily my daily health habits. Thanks buddy…way to share your blood sugar with me.
Anyways, it’s treatable with diet and exercise (insert laugh here)…I’m trying not to sweat too much over it until I find out for sure that I actually have it through these magical blood tests today.
Cross that bridge when I get there...let's just go one day at a time.
But in the meantime, this whole situation has reminded me of a crucial aspect of motherhood and parenting that we all need reminding of in this life; life is not always about us.
My comfort, my schedule, my plans, and my goals sometimes need to be put on hold for the sake of others. I wasn’t brought into this world to serve ourselves; I’m here to carry out His will and thus to serve Our Lord Creator.
Pregnancy, I’m discovering, is a 9 month long preparation for this reality…slowly my time, my body, and apparently my blood sugar is being high jacked by this other living, growing, breathing, constantly moving being. Things that I could once easily control- my bladder, my workouts, my appetite, my weight, my patience, my emotions- are being pulled from my grasp.
And I’m so thankful that God has allowed my heart to be okay with these small infiltrations in my mission control. I love control. I love plans. I love schedules. Yet this little guy is already teaching me I’ve gotta let a lot of that go in order to make room for him in my life.
As my belly grows and body struggles to do simple things like put on socks and sit-up out of bed, God is growing me and reminding me how my purpose and calling on this planet are to do His will, not my own. I’m to imitate Christ’s servitude, who put in way more than 9 months of aches and awkwardness for those He loves.
I view myself as brave and strong for carrying this life for 9 months and bringing him into the world through my body; but when I compare my efforts to what Chris did for my rebirth, our rebirth, I don’t feel so impressed with myself.
He carried the full weight of our sin and guilt and filth to the cross, suffering through labor pains no woman can imagine in order for us to have a new life, a complete life. He carried our burden so our own yoke may be light.
When I think about it in that regard, I think being poked with a needle four times today for the sake of my son isn't so bad.
Galatians 6:2 reminds us that we can help lighten the load for one another, seeking to serve one another as Christ served us. “Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ”.
So, as we move into the first week of our new year, let’s evaluate ourselves for a moment…no BMI, no blood pressure, no stepping on scales here. We’re talking spiritual check-up, specifically our attitude toward serving others.
Maybe you already are a parent. Do you view cleaning up your kids’ dirty cereal bowls as a nuisanced part of the daily monotony or do you view it as a way you serve in your role as a parent? Do you fold the laundry begrudgingly or joyfully? Could you adjust your attitude when in comes to serving your family meatloaf tonight?
If you don’t have kids, think about the people you come in contact with daily. As a teacher, this one’s easy. I’m responsible for and constantly considering the needs of 71 third graders- who has asthma, who has divorced parents, who has dyslexia, who has not been turning in homework, who has been absent a little too much. Nonetheless, it’s easy for me to walk into work just going through the motions and counting down the hours until 3:20 instead of asking God to give me a joyful, compassionate heart for my students.
I leave y’all with one of my favorite songs that really hits home with this theme. It’s “To Live Is Christ” by Sidewalk Prophets. The whole song is solid, but my favorite part that strikes me most is this:
If I rise, let me rise on you
This week, this month, this year, one of my resolutions for myself will be to be more open to servitude, more flexible in my plans, and more willing to put myself on hold for the sake of this new life entering my world. My hope and prayer for you today is that you can see ways in your life today that you could lighten the load of someone else in a manner that is gracious and joyful.
Let's chat: How do you feel about resolutions? Do you have any spiritual resolutions you are setting for yourself? Tell me about them!
Healthy Happy Texan
I'm a Foodie, Fitness Instructor, and Follower of Christ. Add a passion for teaching others, dark chocolate, bacon, and dogs -- and that's me in a box.
Come on, let's live a little!