As of today, right this very moment, I could easily be one day away from my body bringing my son into the world…I could also still be two weeks away from his arrival.
Since this is my first pregnancy, the doc and I are a little unsure exactly how my body will handle labor. My water may not even break. I may not start contractions until a few hours before his delivery. My water may break at school in a few hours and my son may be born 30 hours later.
I have absolutely NO clue what these next few weeks have in store for us.
And as of a few months ago, that much unplanned, unknown time and experience ahead normally would spur me into a whirlwind of anxiety and sleeplessness and a compulsive need to overplan (so that last part is up for debate…some may call it over planning, I say I’m just thoroughly organized).
However, this waiting, this unspecified, TBD timeline that I’m currently living on is not so arduous despite my Type A tendencies.
Because I am confident in Christ’s plan for my son, myself, and my husband; He is in charge of how and when my family will grow. He knows if I will have time for an epidural, if I will need a C-section, if I will have complications, if my labor will be a breeze, if my son will be a fussy sleeper, if my son will nurse like a champ.
So why get bogged down in all of those what-ifs?
Instead, I receive every day that I’m still pregnant and awaiting with thanksgiving.
And while MOST of y’all are not awaiting the birth of your own child in the next 1-40 weeks (though if you are how perfectly beautiful and wonderful of an experience we’re in together!), we can and will all benefit from relishing the beauty and blessings God places before us TODAY.
THIS is the day He has made on our behalf, let’s treasure it in a joyous, grateful way!
Last Thursday was one of those days at school when I left feeling a little too grateful for my impending maternity leave. It was Read Across America Day, so all of the teachers were dressed as book characters. Strike 1.
Guest readers came throughout the day to interrupt the students’ daily schedule. Strike 2.
We had a lockdown drill while on the playground, resulting in all of the kiddos having to rush across the street to hide behind a nearby church until all clear. Strike 3.
If you are a fellow educator of young people or work with them or have them living in your house, you are aware how berserk they get when their little routines and schedules get off kilter. And I’m ashamed to admit I was glad that day way over and I didn’t have many days like that left.
Similarly, Friday night my husband and I decided to take advantage of a newborn-free night, so we went to go see a movie (in case you’re curious we saw Logan. Unless you are a pretty serious X-men fan and can tolerate a hefty dose of gore and vulgarity, I wouldn’t recommend it…I am a comic book nerd and have a higher tolerance for said crudities than I would like to admit, thus I did enjoy it).
Anyways, after sitting for half an hour (it was about 2.5 hours total) in the cushy theatre seat that seemed to be shrinking by the scene, I started to get REALLY uncomfortable REALLY fast. While my husband is accustomed to my constant squirming and rearranging when we go places together where I’m required to sit longer than 30 minutes (restauraunts, movies, car trips to Dallas, etc.), the dude on the other side of me seemed a bit unnerved by my frequent fidgeting…however he’s NOT one to judge seeing as he more-or-less sobbed at the end of the movie.
It seemed like every position I attempted just elicited more poking into my ribs, squishing of organs, pinching of something I couldn’t even identify. Finally, I discovered through MUCH trial and error that if I sat straight up and slightly leaning forward with my legs separated in a rather masculine way, I could then tolerate sitting through the remainder of the movie.
In less than two days I had two experiences that made me think to myself…I kinda just want this to be over.
But that couldn’t be farther from the truth!
As I harped on over and over (and some of y’all may want to punch me in the face for), I have LOVED every moment of this pregnancy. I know I will love every moment, even the dirty diapers and spit up and tears and headaches, of having a newborn, too.
But why squander the beauty of the moments God is currently placing in my life? I love feeling his tri-daily hiccups. I love the squirms and punches and jabs I feel as my yummy bounces and bobs uncontrollably. I don’t even mind having to go to the bathroom one or two times a night.
So these next few days (or week), I am going to cherish the time I have left without a newborn. I will savor sitting through an entire church service and worship and praise and fellowship without worrying about when it was time to change and feed my son. I will relish being able to whip through the grocery stores in solidarity (minus the hoards of students that I run into while there). I will enjoy my students and their corny jokes and puns and the ridiculously hilarious things that come out of their mouths each day, knowing that each day could be my last with them for the year (don’t even get me started on this topic…water works central).
And I know there are things in your life that put you in this same boat, just a slightly different ocean, as me.
Our hearts always seem to be bursting with excitement about the next anticipated, monument event ahead- a graduation, a wedding, a vacation. Yet God places so many gifts within every day of our lives just waiting for us to take a second away from our own self-absorptions to recognize and appreciate.
Now, today, this moment, is the time to live for Christ.
Today, right now, we have the opportunity to make a difference, to enjoy quality time, to smile and laugh, to simply be still at the feet of Jesus and enjoy His peace, His grace, and His beauty.
As I await in these next hours or days or weeks, eager for when I get to hold my son for the first time, I bless and praise God for this gifts of this day.
Let’s lean into the present.
Let’s invite God to show us how we can glorify Him today.
Today’s Challenge: Take 5 minutes (yes, 300 whole seconds) to BE STILL. No iphone. No TV. No kids. No driving. No running through your to-do list or schedule. Just sit and be present with the Lord. Invite Him to open your heart and eyes to His presence and await the peaceful perspective that will come with it. Really try to clear your mind. Just be open and waiting for Him.
Today's Prayer: Father God, grant me the patience to live in this day, to not wish and anticipate the future; rather, allow me to live in Your presence, savor the gifts You have placed within this day. Help me not to miss the joys You set before me because I am too preoccupied about the future and accomplishments I wish to achieve. Use me today for Your glory rather than my own. Open my eyes and heart to the ways I can work for and serve You today. In Your name I pray.
Healthy Happy Texan
I'm a Foodie, Fitness Instructor, and Follower of Christ. Add a passion for teaching others, dark chocolate, bacon, and dogs -- and that's me in a box.
Come on, let's live a little!