Surprise surprise, I LOVE planning.
I'm aware that the satisfaction I receive from organizing and arranging and scheduling is neurotic and tiptoeing on psychotic, but it's just who I am.
But, once again, I’ve stumped into a familiar scenario…y’all may be familiar with it, too-
It’s trying to plan your life's metaphorical road trip all on your own, meticulously mapping out each food truck to stop at and Paleo diner to visit, only to realize you forgot to put gas in the tank?
I know I'd feel like a captain ding dong if I pulled a stunt like that.
So why do I keep making this same mistake time and time again in my life?
I'm not in charge of my life. God is.
And in 28 years I still battle that concept.
Y'all, when we seek to make plans for our life yet forget something as fundamental as consulting God for His wisdom and discernment, we usually aren't going to be able to go too far.
So today we’re letting Him take the wheel, even if it leads us down a road we’d rather not go.
This spring, before McNugget arrived in the world, I started making plans.
Plans for weeks of meals like frozen Paleo chicken nuggets and lasagnas and Thai meatballs to pull out and microwave amidst the newborn parent zombieness that was rapidly approaching (which, by the way, was never really a thing for me).
Plans for his arrival with bags packed and repacked and packed once more just to be sure it’s all there.
Plans for summer roads trips to Louisiana in May and a first flight to Tennessee in June and a summer beach trip to South Carolina in July.
Plans for daycare, being a working mom, leading back-to-school trainings and picking up right where I left off with my third grade pumpkin doodles.
I left my classroom in order, with a promise of return on my lips and a binder overflowing with hard copies and months of plans, electronic files stuffed with pdfs and projects, and a contract signed.
The problem with planning out your life, y'all, is that we don't always stop to ask God for His input.
Or at least that was my problem.
Was? Is would be a far more accurate word choice here.
Because turns out, y'all, that my plans for the fall weren't His plans for me.
Have you ever run smack into this issue in your life (I ask smirking knowing y'all can all shout unanimously “YES” to me across the screen)?
Which is the exact reason I'm stepping out of the 4 walls of the portable classroom comfort zone I've called home for the past 3 years and accepting the possibility of what He wants next for me.
Becoming a stay at home mom.
It's a role that is easier said than done (can I get an amen?).
The triweekly blowouts.
The inability to wear real clothes due to the perpetual flood of drool and vomit.
The spitup trails throughout my kitchen.
The sporadic, unpredictable wakings every night (goodness, when will those teeth come in?!)
The banshee screams of gas pains.
The endless stream of hospital and pediatrician bills.
The gamble of wearing my hair down knowing it could receive a free milk-spitup conditioning treatment or infant fist massage at any moment.
But, I cannot deny the path God has set before me.
And while it was excruciating and brought me to several episodes of tears and stomachaches to make the call this summer to my principal and my teammates knowing the burden and stress and disappointment I would be placing upon them, the peace God has put on my heart since that day has been overwhelmingly assuring.
The very steps we take come from GOD; otherwise how would we know where we’re going? Proverbs 20:24
No one said being a parent was easy. Or clean. Or quiet. Or restful. Or cheap.
But it is absolutely a gift, one that God intends for me to pursue even more heartily than I imagined.
It’s not a detour to my career path . Not a disruption to my life's journey. Not a hurdle in my marriage.
It's a gift from God.
And many of y'all are called to leave your little ones day after day and serve God in a traditional workplace or classroom, which comes with its own set of struggles and judgments and uncertainties.
So while there is much uncertainty as to what exactly this new phase of my life will look like, I take Proverbs 31 to heart.
A good woman always faces tomorrow with a smile.
So no matter how monotonous or exhausting or frustrating this new job may seem at times, I will face tomorrow with joy knowing it is God’s path for me right now.
I'm here on this planet to serve Him, to lead others to Him, and to glorify Him. And if that means having to leave my comfort zone, so be it.
I will do so with a smile on my face, looking forward to how He will use me to spread His glory and grace in my newest ventures.
Today’s Challenge: Where is God calling you today? Is there a decision in your life you haven’t offered up to Him for His wisdom and guidance? Whether it’s a major decision or minor one, I urge you to consult Him. He knows what He’s doin. And He knows what's best for you. Even if you don't like what He has to say.
Today’s Prayer: Father God, Author of my faith, I am thankful for Your ever presence in my life, Your endless stream of wisdom in my life, and Your gentle pushes for me to head in the direction that is pleasing and purposeful to You. Forgive me when I doubt Your ways, and help me to be patient and open to uncharted paths ahead of me. I trust You, now and always.
Healthy Happy Texan
I'm a Foodie, Fitness Instructor, and Follower of Christ. Add a passion for teaching others, dark chocolate, bacon, and dogs -- and that's me in a box.
Come on, let's live a little!